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Feminist Invents Yogurt From Her Own Vaginal Secretion

chobani-yogurt_0

I mean seriously, one brave feminist scientist and food warrior has ruined yogurt forever by figuring out how to make yogurt from vaginal secretions.

According to Mommyish.com

“Every vagina is home to hundreds of different types of bacteria and organisms. These organisms—collective ly known as the vaginal community—produce lactic acid, hydrogen peroxide, and other substances that keep the vagina healthy. The dominant bacteria is called lactobacillus, which also happens to be what people sometimes use to culture milk, cheese, and yogurt.”

Oh dear. At this point we can see where this train of thought is going, and I am shouting “Run!” at the computer as though I’m telling a horror movie heroine not to go in the basement. But brave MD/Ph.D. student Cecilia Westbrook took the next step and put her education to good work figuring out how exactly a person could grow yogurt from vaginal flora, and whether or not that would be a good idea for a person to do.

Then, of course, someone had to taste it.

Her first batch of yogurt tasted sour, tangy, and almost tingly on the tongue,” Jay writes. “She compared it to Indian yogurt , and ate it with some blueberries.”

When Jay called the FDA to ask about the health ramifications of this particular experiment, which Jay deserves a Pulitzer for calling “Yonigurt,” the poor spokesperson who handled her inquiry said it was not recommended on the grounds that vaginal secretions could transmit disease. Westbrook made and tasted two batches, though, and after eating them said she felt totally fine.


“In a way, it’s so obvious. Like, of course you can make yogurt out of your natural flora. But who would think to do it?” Westbrook said. “And of course the feminist in me wants to say something about how there’s a beauty in connecting your body to your food and exploring the power that your vagina has. Part of that is kind of a mystical hippie thing, but part of it is also just getting comfortable with your own body, especially in a culture that is so uncomfortable with women’s bodies.”

I could also collect my sweat and use it to salt my food but I won’t because…. This is just nasty.. People stay doing the most.

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