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A DAUGHTER’S FIRST LOVE: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TRUST ANOTHER MAN, IF I CANT TRUST MY FATHER?

It’s Father’s day and while I do want to commend all the fathers out there. Something came across my mind. As a daddy’s girl myself, I often sought qualities from my father to be in my future spouse.

A friend and I were having a discussion about the role a father plays in a girl’s dating life. As the conversation deepened my friend turned to me with words that sent chills down my spine.

” I don’t want my daughter to experience what my father put me through.” I was almost afraid to ask her what in the hell had her dad done but I repeated what she said in hopes that it would get her to elaborate further.

It worked. My friend peered out of a window while starting to tell me the story of her father’s infidelity throughout her childhood. She said it caused her to later lose trust in her father and mother’s marriage which later led to mistrust in men. I sat there in disbelief as I imagined myself in my friend’s family trying to feel what she was telling me. I couldn’t fathom my father mistreating my mother at least in front of me but needless to say adults have this “take this to the grave” mind set. “How am I supposed to trust men or love, if I couldn’t trust my dad”? She looked at me with teary eyes as she continued with “How does my dad have the right to get mad with my husband if he mistreats?”

FATHERS-AND-DAUGHTERS

I really didn’t know how I mustered up the strength to tell her to forgive her father for what he’d done to her mother. I understood her father created a insecurity along with disappointment that he may or may not have been aware of. A father is a girl’s first love next to the love for her mom. A father sets the standard for his baby girl on how she should be treated, respected, and loved. Although there isn’t a perfect picture in any story and I couldn’t relate to my friend as much as I wanted ,I still wondered. How does a woman trust other men if she couldn’t trust the one closest to her?

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