Oprah and Shonda Rhimes shares the same views on marriage and why it’s not for them, during a particularly revealing conversation with Oprah on OWN’s “SuperSoul Sunday,” Rhimes explained how it’s actually a pivotal moment for a woman of a certain age to declare publicly, out loud, “I don’t want to get married.” I’m not mad at them for protecting their coin… I mean, not everyone is meant to be married…
According to The Huffington Post The Duo talks:
“[It] feels obvious and maybe silly or something to people who are married or people who are older, people who have been through it,” Rhimes says in the above video. “But if you’re a woman in your thirties or forties, that’s a big deal. Everybody’s asking you all the time if it’s going to happen … There’s a huge amount of pressure.”
The pressure, she adds, is similar to the pressure women often feel to become mothers. “It’s a lot like the desire to want to have children in our society,” Rhimes says. “You’re supposed to want it, and if you don’t want it, what’s wrong with you?”
Oprah who shares the same views, being that she’s never married her longtime boyfriend StedmanBut she also made a candid admission during her talk with the mastermind showrunner.
“I don’t know if I’ve ever said this publicly, but I really wanted to be wanted to be married to,” Oprah says. “I wanted Stedman to want to marry me. The moment he asked me to marry him I was, like… ‘Now I actually have to get married?'”
That proposal happened more than 20 years ago and the wedding would have taken place in 1993. However, it didn’t happen. “I was supposed to do a book at the same time … and the wedding and the book were happening around the same time. We were on our way from the book party and Stedman said he did not want to have his wedding disturbed by all these people asking me about the book (which I ended up not doing),” Oprah says. “I said, ‘OK. All right. So he said, ‘We should just postpone this wedding. I said, ‘OK.’ And that was it. We have never discussed it again.”
As it turns out, the delay helped Oprah come to an important realization about herself.
“What I realized is, I don’t want to be married,” Oprah says. “Because I could not have the life that I created for myself … I knew that I couldn’t do it.”
Rhimes feels similarly.
“I have so much going on inside my head in terms of writing, there’s such a large space in my life taken up by that. I can’t imagine it being taken up by a husband and children and writing, and everything getting its due,” she says. “I don’t believe there is room for all of it. I really don’t.”
That’s not to say she passes judgment on anyone who feels differently.
“There may be some people who are doing it and who are very happy and who love it. And I am not knocking any of you,” Rhimes says. “It’s never been a dream of mine [to be married].”